Family Loves Guide to

Drinking

Drinking - it’s Gen Y’s favourite hobby. The drink a person chooses explains a lot about them. The scope of social commentary is as wide as the selection at Family’s Cocktail Bar.

Want to know what the drink in your hand says about you? Read on for all the answers.

Wine

Red: (Women) I’m dreaming of the day I can pile my kids into the minivan after soccer practice.

White: (Men) I’m waiting for my chance to slip a Roofie into your drink.

Beer

Domestic:

(Men) I enjoy watching sports, and don’t expect much out of life.

(Women) I think I’m unpretentious, and confident, so go ahead and treat me like a doormat.

Imported:

(Men) I am statistically more likely to buy a woman a drink.

Vodka

Bloody Mary: I’m alcoholic, who needs to find new and creative ways to work vegetables into my diet.

Cosmopolitan:

(Men) I’m gay.

(Women) I watch Sex in the City reruns.

Red Bull & Vodka: My dealer wouldn’t answer their phone.

Tequila

Straight:

(Women) I’m looking for a party. There’s a good chance I was on Girls Gone Wild.

(Men) Take advantage of me, now’s your chance.

Whiskey/Bourbon

Straight: I’m a veteran cop who just saw my partner shot to death mere days before his retirement. You can leave the bottle, buddy.

On the Rocks:

(Men) I could kick your ass.

(Women) I’m divorced at least twice, me kids don’t visit, I have liver spots, and I reek of cigarettes… come and get me, boys!

Gin

Gin and Juice: This will probably be the only drink I touch all night. I’m a pussy.

Gin and Tonic: I live a fast-paced lifestyle with no time to stuff around. Even my drink of choice can be abbreviated to just two letters.

Martini:

(Women) Please notice me – I’m either a truly classy person or else I wish to play one on TV. (Men) I know how to play the game.

Rum

Rum and Coke: I like drinks that aren’t too complicated, don’t cost much, and taste the same no matter where I order one.

Daiquiri: (Women) I was on vacation once, and I like to pretend I still am.

Piña Colada: I like shitty music… and getting caught in the rain.

Others

Champagne: This drink was free or I’m going to get laid tonight.

Jägermeister: I’m in college, possibly high school.

Brandy: Shortly, we will retire to the drawing room, where I will reveal the identity of the murderer.

Absinthe: I have a death wish.

* All of these apply to bar situations. What you drink in the privacy of your own home is between you and your sponsor.